Her Written Thoughts – continued.


Lies and deceit. Heart ache and heart break. Something so good. Caused so much bad. So much hurt. So much confusion. So much mental blockage. The truth does not bury itself. But you have the power to bury it. Conceal it. Disguise it. Mask it. Deny it. And you did. The easy route. The easier way out. The easiest escape from coming to terms with your actions. Coming too close to being caught. Exposed. Unveiled. Not you. But me. I came to terms with my actions. Came up close and was caught. Exposed. Unveiled.  Vulnerable and Confused. I came to you. Blinded by your “good” intentions. Deafened by your reassuring words. I came to you. Believing that what I saw was real. Believing that what I was hearing was a blessing. A blessing? Can you believe that? Believe this.  I prayed hard. Not for me. For you. More than I prayed for myself. I thought hard. Not about me. About you. I thought more about you than I thought about myself. I didn’t have an answer. I didn’t have a direction to point my finger. Instead I swallowed it. I was sick. And all along, you were the disease. You brought this to me. You gave this to me. You left this with me. To now carry with me to the next relationship. Bag lady. I am her. The weight is now slowing me down.  Heavier than a heart ache. My luggage is building up. And when my destination is reached, where do I begin the unpacking?


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