
Can Ex's be friends?
Growing up big brother gave me three pieces of advice which felt more like a reminder that I was making a fool of myself again! ugh
(1) No dude puts all his eggs in one basket (2) Girls and Guys CANT be friends and (3) You CANT go back to calling an ex a friend or brother figure for that matter.
Heard them tossed around before? Well it’s been tossed at me more frequently than i can seem to catch it.
Funny enough, I had to laugh at a situation I ran into the other day with the case of the ex, rule #3.
If you’ve been up with the blog, I used to sit on a throne with a king, turned a solid friendship into what was aimed at solid commitment. But I was dethroned. He was dethroned. No more King, No more Queen. With most ends, a break is needed but for some you rekindle. For us, any type of relationship was a start.
So friends it is, but when does that open the door for an ex to give future relationship advice? Uhh it doesnt.
We’re texting and I comment on the growth ive noticed in him. Slyly he comments that he hopes ive done some growing as well because “Lord knows you needed it :-X”.
Ha! I laughed and told him it sounded like he had some suggestions and he returned with this
“well for starters you gotta stop applying sooo much pressure on guys. most can’t handle it, unlike myself”.
wtf?
he elaborates …
“I mean pressure as your expectations for guys who aren’t use to and never had to step up to that kinda plate”
Hmm..
I laughed. Since when did you become my Dr. Phil? As a guy that hates even hearing me mention a guys name, now you want to make me more marketable for guys? Like this will help me to have a more successful relationship with the next guy? As he says he was able to handle to my expectations, so isn’t that a clear reflection that there are guys that meet those expectations?
I responded with this …
“Hmm when i lower those expectations (i.e. “bleep”), i get shortchanged. I’m sure u can relate. as of now i don’t have any expectations because I’m not interested in looking or receiving. when i do, however, I’m sure he’ll compliment me where i wont need to alter those expectations”
Cheers!
I’m just saying, if a guy doesn’t meet your expectations, plain and simple he is not the dude for you. You shouldn’t have to make alterations because as a real woman, you should want a guy to have those same expectations for you. This goes beyond materialism, this is emotional, mental and spiritual.
What ya think?